About BumCheeks

The premium cheek solutions company that dared to dream bigger — from the Shetland Islands to the stars.

"We exist to bring premium cheek solutions to the universe —
elevating every sit, every moment, every posterior experience
to the highest possible standard of cheeky excellence."
Premium Grade Universe-Wide Delivery Shetland Certified

Our Headquarters

Nestled in the rugged beauty of the Shetland Islands, our HQ is where all great cheek ideas are born.

Official Registered Address

Shetland Islands Council 8 North Ness Business Park
Lerwick, Shetland
ZE1 0LZ
United Kingdom
60.154°N, 1.145°W Scotland, UK
DetailInformation
Founded2019, Lerwick
Employees47 Cheek Engineers
Lab Space12,000 sq ft
Patents23 Cheek Patents
ClimateSubarctic (ideal for cheeks)
Local FaunaShetland Ponies (premium cheeks)
LERWICK HQ 60.154°N · 1.145°W SHETLAND N S W E 500 km BUMCHEEKS · TACTICAL MAP

Core Cheek Values

The principles that guide every cheek decision we make.

Premium Quality

Every cheek solution is crafted to the highest possible standard. No compromises, no shortcuts.

Innovation First

We push the boundaries of what is possible in cheek technology, every single day.

Universal Access

Premium cheeks for all — regardless of species, planet, or dimensional origin.

Sustainability

Carbon-neutral cheeks since 2023. We protect the Shetland wilderness for future cheek generations.

Meet the Cheek Engineers

Our world-class team of posterior professionals, based in Lerwick, Shetland.

Dr. Reginald Bumsworth
Chief Cheek Officer (CCO)

PhD in Applied Posterior Sciences, University of Lerwick. 15 years in premium cheek research.

Fiona McSeat
Head of Quantum Cheek Engineering

Pioneered the QCP™ algorithm. Former NASA Posterior Systems Analyst. Shetland born and bred.

Hamish Glute-Ferguson
Director of Posterior Analytics

Responsible for the BumCheeks global data network. Processes 4 trillion cheek data points daily.

Isla Rumpington
VP of Cheek Experience Design

Award-winning designer with 12 years crafting premium posterior user experiences. BAFTA nominated.

Angus Posterior-Mackay
Chief Sustainability Cheek Officer

Oversees our carbon-neutral cheek programme. Has personally planted 47,000 trees in Shetland.

Shona Buttwick
Senior Cheek Cryptographer

Protects all cheek data with military-grade encryption. Former GCHQ posterior security specialist.

"The universe is vast. The cheeks are many.
We are ready."
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